Why Not? A Reboot of Bonk's Adventure

This is my most experimental segment where I look at the popular games of the past and ponder what next gen treatment would look like.

Description:  Bonk is what happens when Katamari and Mario share legal custody of a child.  It is one part ridiculousness and three parts platformer.  The cool thing was that Bonk was not trying to be its own separate Mario or Sonic, but just a goofy bald kid who head butts dinosaurs.

Here is why I think a next gen treatment is necessary

Bonk has always thrived at juggling, momentum and rhythm within the platforming world.  That kid's noggin has been a great tool for dinosaur destruction.  Now imagine a 3D platformer world where you are encouraged to get bonk combos and successfully bounce off of different baddies.  It would have the addictiveness of a Tony Hawk combo mixed with Mario.

No Comment.

Also the folks over at Hudson Soft were more than ready to create imaginative power ups and weird weapons.  Some of these weapons like the fire pepper and the bouncing flower fit right in to Mario's kitty costume.

A crazy platformer, with a charming bald kid who fights dinosaurs.  It has indy/family/fun written all over it.

Why Steam Deserves To Be Your New Console!

Do you know that romantic comedy cliche where the young twenty something chick has to choose between the good looking jerk or the wealthy foreign dude?  Then in a sudden twist she finds out that her best friend, Todd, has been the one the whole time.  That is your relationship with Steam.  While we were fretting over which Xbox or Playstation to get, Steam sat quietly promising to console you in your darkest hour.  Not once did it charge you for online capabilities and it doesn't get jealous if you use its Netflix.

5.  Backwards Compatible In Its Truest Sense

Steam did something smart.  It stuck to one media format for all its games-The digital download.  And because you have that one media format you never have to worry about your games becoming obsolete.  Your system can still play Max Payne, Serious Sam and Doom 3 like it was the day you first bought it.  No system can ever promise that longevity.  And Steam has cloud saves, which means you can still keep your progress in a game even though you switch computers.

The CD or the game cartridge are no longer the golden standard that sits above the PC.  Now that next gen systems have to find updates, install data, use up gigs and store to the hard drive it doesn't make it much more of an advantage.

Toaster not included.

4.  The Perfect Balance of Internet Capability

Did we mention that Steam is 1 of 2 game networks on the market that does not require 60 bucks a year?  The other system has an Italian plumber as its mascot.  Steam could also be a real jerk about being an online digital company and make some rule like, "your computer must be online at all times in order to play."  But Valve has a heart and a love for the Tiny Tim in us all.

3. The Thin Line Between Console and PC is Closing

It used to be clear as day to whether you were a PC gamer or a console gamer.  If you wanted 2D adventures, fighters and beatem' ups you went with console, if you wanted games that would make Star Trek engineers cry you went with computer.  That is no longer the case as more and more varieties of games are being ported to Steam.  Don't want to use your mouse?  Fine, be that way!  But also remember that a startling amount of Steam games are becoming gamepad compatible.  The Steam Box is also coming out with a controller that will take the place of your keyboard and mouse.  As mentioned earlier, the disc drive media is not convenient, fast or easy as it once was so Steam has the advantage.

2. The Issue With Upgrading

You may think to yourself, "Aha, computers must be constantly upgraded and consoles last about 8 years."  But you also have to remember that Steam is not asking you to get a whole new $600 system every 3 years. A strong PC can last 3-4 years before becoming irrelevant.  After those 4 years you can switch out any technical hardware to make the system better.

The mascot...a blue collar engineer with a degree in miming

1.  And Those Prices...

It's Christmas Eve and you turn on your warm and lonely computer to find out that Batman Arkham City is only $5, while the newest indie games are selling for $2.  Who has this power and authority?  It isn't Sony or Microsoft.  It is Valve.

Review: Rogue Legacy (Steam)

Rogue Legacy
Publisher: Cellar Door Games
System: Steam PC

Castlegrindia?

Wave based games and level grinding randomized adventures have been gaining momentum in 2013 with games like Rogue Legacy and Risk of Rain.  They have the addiction power of a mobile app, the playability of a console game and the graphics of an indie art masterpiece.  With that said, Rogue Legacy is easiest the perfect time killer.

Rogue Legacy is a large dungeon crawler where you never play the same map twice.  You take your choice of Paladin, Barbarian or Mage through a 16-bit retro castle and see how much gold you can collect.  Then when you die (and you will die...a lot) your character gets added to the family memorial room and you must choose an heir to replace you.  Like members of my family, each heir has a quirk or a disability about them that affects gameplay.  Your next heir might be bald, near-sighted, have vertigo, be gay or have OCD.  The nearsighted player sees things blurry from far away, while the warrior with vertigo plays the game upside down.  Each death results in the player having to choose another heir, but before the game starts you can use the last heir's money to upgrade stats, unlock new items and equip new armor.  You cannot save money in this game so you must spend all your money in each round.

Your character moves swiftly and controls smoothly as you jump, slash and cast spells.  It is absolutely crucial that you invest in a Xbox wired gamepad to play this because of the tons of slashing and jumping cannot be handled by the keyboard.  The game rakes up the difficulty as each randomization of the map is filled with baddies.  You will constantly die Dark Souls style until your character is strong enough to last the dungeon.  Eventually the goal of the game is to defeat the 5 bosses and reclaim the castle, but that is a goal you won't hit until hour 5 of the game.

What makes this game such a joy to play is that it combines fun and tight Castlevania mechanics with a trial and error system that is highly addicting.  You never play the same game twice and each play through makes you a bit stronger with each level up.    Since the main goal of the game is to unlock items and get gold, you are not bogged down by some complex stat system.  The quirks of each heir are funny and occasionally helpful, but I noticed that they served more to brighten the humor of the game.  I also learned that the average human being can have some pretty messed up problems (fear of chickens).

The only thing I would like to see changed in the sequel is that as you level up your stats with gold the prices are higher and higher.  If you do a crappy run through the castle and only net a little gold it feels like a waste of a play if you cannot afford anything for the next heir.  Maybe in the future the game should offer a mini store with low priced items so that you can at least get something for your efforts.

Rogue Legacy is charming as it is witty and the tight gameplay ensures that you will be saying, "just one more time." The game will cost you $15 dollars, which can seem kind of steep for a game that is only 400mb and has such simple play mechanics.  I would argue that if you love level up adventures and you need a game that is as funny as it is functional then Rogue Legacy is right up your alley.

Buy It 1/5

+ Tight controls and fun combat
+ No play through is the same twice
+ Hilarious and charming
- $15 might be too steep for a 400 MB game