Why Not? A Reboot of Bonk's Adventure

This is my most experimental segment where I look at the popular games of the past and ponder what next gen treatment would look like.

Description:  Bonk is what happens when Katamari and Mario share legal custody of a child.  It is one part ridiculousness and three parts platformer.  The cool thing was that Bonk was not trying to be its own separate Mario or Sonic, but just a goofy bald kid who head butts dinosaurs.

Here is why I think a next gen treatment is necessary

Bonk has always thrived at juggling, momentum and rhythm within the platforming world.  That kid's noggin has been a great tool for dinosaur destruction.  Now imagine a 3D platformer world where you are encouraged to get bonk combos and successfully bounce off of different baddies.  It would have the addictiveness of a Tony Hawk combo mixed with Mario.

No Comment.

Also the folks over at Hudson Soft were more than ready to create imaginative power ups and weird weapons.  Some of these weapons like the fire pepper and the bouncing flower fit right in to Mario's kitty costume.

A crazy platformer, with a charming bald kid who fights dinosaurs.  It has indy/family/fun written all over it.

Why Steam Deserves To Be Your New Console!

Do you know that romantic comedy cliche where the young twenty something chick has to choose between the good looking jerk or the wealthy foreign dude?  Then in a sudden twist she finds out that her best friend, Todd, has been the one the whole time.  That is your relationship with Steam.  While we were fretting over which Xbox or Playstation to get, Steam sat quietly promising to console you in your darkest hour.  Not once did it charge you for online capabilities and it doesn't get jealous if you use its Netflix.

5.  Backwards Compatible In Its Truest Sense

Steam did something smart.  It stuck to one media format for all its games-The digital download.  And because you have that one media format you never have to worry about your games becoming obsolete.  Your system can still play Max Payne, Serious Sam and Doom 3 like it was the day you first bought it.  No system can ever promise that longevity.  And Steam has cloud saves, which means you can still keep your progress in a game even though you switch computers.

The CD or the game cartridge are no longer the golden standard that sits above the PC.  Now that next gen systems have to find updates, install data, use up gigs and store to the hard drive it doesn't make it much more of an advantage.

Toaster not included.

4.  The Perfect Balance of Internet Capability

Did we mention that Steam is 1 of 2 game networks on the market that does not require 60 bucks a year?  The other system has an Italian plumber as its mascot.  Steam could also be a real jerk about being an online digital company and make some rule like, "your computer must be online at all times in order to play."  But Valve has a heart and a love for the Tiny Tim in us all.

3. The Thin Line Between Console and PC is Closing

It used to be clear as day to whether you were a PC gamer or a console gamer.  If you wanted 2D adventures, fighters and beatem' ups you went with console, if you wanted games that would make Star Trek engineers cry you went with computer.  That is no longer the case as more and more varieties of games are being ported to Steam.  Don't want to use your mouse?  Fine, be that way!  But also remember that a startling amount of Steam games are becoming gamepad compatible.  The Steam Box is also coming out with a controller that will take the place of your keyboard and mouse.  As mentioned earlier, the disc drive media is not convenient, fast or easy as it once was so Steam has the advantage.

2. The Issue With Upgrading

You may think to yourself, "Aha, computers must be constantly upgraded and consoles last about 8 years."  But you also have to remember that Steam is not asking you to get a whole new $600 system every 3 years. A strong PC can last 3-4 years before becoming irrelevant.  After those 4 years you can switch out any technical hardware to make the system better.

The mascot...a blue collar engineer with a degree in miming

1.  And Those Prices...

It's Christmas Eve and you turn on your warm and lonely computer to find out that Batman Arkham City is only $5, while the newest indie games are selling for $2.  Who has this power and authority?  It isn't Sony or Microsoft.  It is Valve.

Sony, Sega, Microsoft or Nintendo? Who is Wasting Their Potential The Most?

Games! Games! Games!
That is what makes or breaks a video game console.  Your system can play the finest version of Netflix, be voice activated or even remember your birthday, but without stellar games the system is pointless.  No video game console has ever taken a nose dive for any other reason than not having the proper licenses, franchises and variety of playable games.  With that said, it is worth noting and calculating which of the biggest console (and previous console companies...sniff, Dreamcast) are not living up to their true potential.  Some of these companies are sitting on a gold mine and don't even know it.


Sega
Games They Put Out Almost Yearly:
Monkey Ball
Virtua Tennis
Sonic The Hedgehog
Football Manager
Total War

Games That Have Scored Really Well In The Past (Via Metacritic)
Phantasy Star Online
Jet Grind Radio
Samba De Amigo
Sega GT
Ecco The Dolphin
Shenmue

Games That I Really Want To See Modernized
Alien Storm
Space Harrier 2
Panzer Dragoon

Back when LSD was part of the creative process

Wasted Potential Score:  9/10

Sega does a great job resurrecting the classics and reminding everyone that they had a few gems in their hey day, but it seems they will not go near modernizing any of the Dreamcast games that made their system so popular.  Perhaps it is fear that Sega will go under again if they start coloring outside of the lines.  Out of all the systems, Sega had always won me over with their colorful, Japan rich games.

Sony
Games They Put Out Almost Yearly:
Killzone
Uncharted
Gran Turismo
Ratchet and Clank
Little Big Planet
MLB: The Show
God Of War

Games That Have Scored Really Well In The Past (Via Metacritic)
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Little Big Planet
The Last of Us
God of War 3
MLB 10: The Show
Wipeout HD
Ico

Games That I Really Want To See Modernized
Syphon Filter
Medievil
Einhander
The Legend of Dragoon

No Sony, there's nothing cool about warriors that turn into dragons!

Wasted Potential Score:  4/10
Because Sony never grips onto any of their franchises for too long, it is really hard to miss any of them.  Sony is always trying new stuff and teaming up with new people with new ideas.  Despite the team's elusiveness to stick to their classics, Sony does have lots of PSOne titles that are sorely missed.

Microsoft
Games They Put Out Almost Yearly:
Forza
Fable
Gears of War
Halo

Games That Have Scored Really Well In The Past (Via Metacritic)
Fable III
Gears of War III
Halo 3
Forza Horizon
Left 4 Dead 2
Shadow Complex
Viva Pinata
Alan Wake

Games That I Really Want To See Modernized
Jade Empire
Amped
Conker: Live and Reloaded
Perfect Dark

Look at this beauty...Nintendo are you crying?

Wasted Potential Score:  5/10

Forza, Fable, Gears of War and Halo have been the steady diet for all Xbox users.  As I was researching the top games of the Xbox and 360 I noticed that Microsoft has been scarce in throwing their hat into the ring.  You rarely see a Microsoft exclusive pop up and really be noticed.  This makes me suspicious to how creative Microsoft's system really is if it has played it safe by riding on the coat tails of 3rd party developers.

 
Nintendo
Games They Put Out Almost Yearly:
Super Mario Bros
Mario Party
Mario Kart
Donkey Kong
Legend of Zelda

Games That Have Scored Really Well In The Past (Via Metacritic)
Super Mario Galaxy
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Super Smash Bros Brawl
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Sin and Punishment: Star Successor
Punch Out
Super Paper Mario
Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
Donkey Kong Country Returns
Mario Kart Wii

Games That I Really Want To See Modernized
Eternal Darkness
F-Zero
Star Fox
Wave Race
Metroid

Who do I have to dance for to see a sequel to this game?

Wasted Potential Score:  8/10
Nintendo and Sega seem to be the only two companies that release less than half of their highest scoring games.  Nintendo almost beat Sega's score, but at least Nintendo keeps 2 high scoring games in the rotation of the Wii U.  The sad reality is that Nintendo really has the brain power to make any one of the above games and do it well, but they resort to a Donkey Kong sequel or a remake of a game that made them famous in the past.  It's so sad to see a game company that has revolutionized gaming, miss out on so many opportunities.

How Call of Duty Has Infected Every FPS To Date

Remember the good ol' days when an FPS game was either World War II, Cacodemons or James Bond.  Those were the days when heroes were simple, marines were not afraid to venture into Hell and multiplayer meant you actually had four friends.  Those days were over the day a few employees of Medal of Honor started to veer off the pack and make their own World War II game.

(Let's Fast Forward)

Inifinity Ward decided to take their World War II recipe, add some modern combat, and create one of the most tried and true shooting formulas.  Winner of multiple game of the year awards, MW forever changed how we classify shooters.  Now every Tom, Dick and Harry has followed this formula to the T, making Call of Duty the grandfather of modern shooting.

And because they have created game after game, every shooter has to (is compelled to) follow these rules.  Here are the unbreakable rules of every mainstream shooter.

Iron Sights:

Iron Sights makes a lot of sense, but it didn't make sense until Call of Duty made it a huge part of their gameplay system.  Before that, Serious Sam, Max Payne, Master Chief and Duke Nukem would not be caught dead looking down their sights.
Every serious shooter now will not let you have accurate weapon firing unless you aim down your sight with the left trigger.  It has to be the left trigger or gamers will change it or not play it.  Even 3rd person shooters require aiming down the site (with the left trigger) in order to fire properly.  Aiming down the sight, being the official way to shoot enemies, has affected multiplayer strategies immensely.

Regenerative Health


Technically, Halo 2 was the first user of the regenerative health concept.  It should be noted that Bungie was making regen health in order for gameplay to be smoother and more arcade like.  This kind of health system makes a whole lot of sense on a science fiction shooter where the player is wearing an armor suit.

And then Call of Duty decided to adopt it.  Your flesh bound warrior could take multiple bullets in the chest and legs without feeling any of the effects.  All he had to do was hide behind a box for a few seconds and he was good as new.  This removed the scavenging and health restoration that were popular in every FPS game before it.  No longer were your characters taking breaks to find supplies and get health, but now they were kicking down every door and going in guns blazing.

So many games have adopted that unrealistic health management system that it actually makes more sense to tell you the games that do not have it (I can only think of Resistance 3 and Singularity at the moment).  This one gameplay quirk belongs next to the reasoning behind female armor logic and perks.  Speaking of perks.

Rewards For Winning

Call of Duty made it official with Modern Warfare, if you win X number of times you get something that helps you win even more.  They decreed that every multiplayer game from here on out must have recon planes, atomic bombs and drones as part of their quirks.  Multiplayer arenas have been drastically "improved" so now every online game gives you some kind of reward for killing lots of people.  Not only that, but this reward system is only for those who survive and don't die (though Modern Warfare 3 changed that).

This has had such a freeze on multiplayer shooters that rival followers of the Call of Duty method would dare not change the recipe.  Doing so would kick them out of the proper shooter club and deem the game different."

Linear Gameplay

I remember when Medal of Honor Airborne was released and EA Games boasted that the gameplay was multi-directional and could be completed at the will of the gamer.  It would replace that boring one direction gameplay and replace it with variety and decisions.  Then Modern Warfare was released and it had all the great cinematic clinchers of a Steven Segal movie.  Slow motion gun fights, nuclear explosions, bullets flying and people yelling pumped the adrenaline.  Guess what?  EA has yet to go back to a non-linear gameplay and is happy making their own brand of linear modern combat shooters. In fact, everyone is content with the linear gameplay.  I am not saying Call of Duty invented linear gameplay, but there was a time when next gen games boasted in the open area and freedom of a shooter.  Only the boring and uninspired games would be classified as linear.  You could strategize in Rainbow Six or find secrets in Doom.  That is no longer the cool thing.  Now tight and confined spaces are hip in the shooter realm.  Following the straight line of slow motion and explosions with a hearty chunk of scripted events is the cool way to go.  Want to do some exploration?  Nope, all doors are locked and your AI team mates get angry for you not following the mission.  There are still open world shooters that force the gamer to use strategy, but they are not part of the Call of Cool Club.

 Machine Gun Worship

This one element of shooting has forever tattooed that rhythm and feel of all popular combat shooters.  This is the rule that all shooters must worship and strive for the automatic rifle.  This automatic rifle must have a scope or an acog visual.  A level without a machine gun or automatic rifle is considered foreign and outside the norms of gameplay.  A shooter cannot survive on pistols, rocket launchers and shotguns, in fact very few games care very little about them compared to the machine gun optimization.  automatic weapons are like the muscle cars of racing games or the star players in sports games, you would be really disappointed if they did not come in.  Now a shooter must have at least ten different machine guns of various sizes, clips and feels or else it isn't a real shooter.

You may be thinking, "isn't that realistic how actual warfare works?  Wouldn't it make sense to portray lots of machine guns."  Yes and no.  Yes there are tons of automatic weapons on this Earth, but the average American soldier has one rifle and one side arm.  They usually only carry about 2 clips (about 30 bullets) and have to ration them off wisely.  The idea behind picking up random rifles off dead bodies in warfare and each gun having 200 bullets is ridiculous.  But it works and that is the unbreakable rule of shooters.

Steam Ops: Dino D-Day

Dino D-Day
800 North and Digital Ranch

Dino D-Day was released for the weekend on Steam and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to give my 1 hour impression.  This is by no means a proper review, but I am always looking to give impressions on upcoming Steam titles.

I imagine the premise was all that made the developers fall for this game.  Some guy from 800 North studios and Digital Ranch jumping up and down excitedly and saying, "And then the dinosaurs can shoot the Nazi's, while the raptors slash away the bad guys...rawr...slash...pew!"

The game features different classes of soldiers and dinosaurs.  Some dinosaurs have melee combat, while other characters have WWII guns.  Each character has a singular perk and special ability.  The raptors can do super jumps while the diplo can headbutt its enemies.

Fighting in a deathmatch arena felt like a mix of Team Fortress mixed with old Call of Duty gameplay.  Apart from the thrill of actually manning a dinosaur, it felt very primitive and linear to play multiplayer.  If you were a melee fighter you could easily get owned by a projectile, while snipers were pretty much the king of the arena.

The game had glitches when I tried to create a room for multiplayer and it kept crashing and going back to the title screen.  I also could not get my Xbox gamepad to work with it.  It was not responding.

Graphics looked like old Counter Strike mods and clipping was a bit prevalent in the textures.  Overall, the premise of dinosaurs and machine guns was not enough to get me wanting to play. It is only $2 on the Steam catalog, but lots of mods are free if you own Half-Life multiplayer.  800 North and Digital Ranch should learn to tighten the gameplay and add some depth outside of the dinosaur selection.

Cool concept, bro.

Review: Rogue Legacy (Steam)

Rogue Legacy
Publisher: Cellar Door Games
System: Steam PC

Castlegrindia?

Wave based games and level grinding randomized adventures have been gaining momentum in 2013 with games like Rogue Legacy and Risk of Rain.  They have the addiction power of a mobile app, the playability of a console game and the graphics of an indie art masterpiece.  With that said, Rogue Legacy is easiest the perfect time killer.

Rogue Legacy is a large dungeon crawler where you never play the same map twice.  You take your choice of Paladin, Barbarian or Mage through a 16-bit retro castle and see how much gold you can collect.  Then when you die (and you will die...a lot) your character gets added to the family memorial room and you must choose an heir to replace you.  Like members of my family, each heir has a quirk or a disability about them that affects gameplay.  Your next heir might be bald, near-sighted, have vertigo, be gay or have OCD.  The nearsighted player sees things blurry from far away, while the warrior with vertigo plays the game upside down.  Each death results in the player having to choose another heir, but before the game starts you can use the last heir's money to upgrade stats, unlock new items and equip new armor.  You cannot save money in this game so you must spend all your money in each round.

Your character moves swiftly and controls smoothly as you jump, slash and cast spells.  It is absolutely crucial that you invest in a Xbox wired gamepad to play this because of the tons of slashing and jumping cannot be handled by the keyboard.  The game rakes up the difficulty as each randomization of the map is filled with baddies.  You will constantly die Dark Souls style until your character is strong enough to last the dungeon.  Eventually the goal of the game is to defeat the 5 bosses and reclaim the castle, but that is a goal you won't hit until hour 5 of the game.

What makes this game such a joy to play is that it combines fun and tight Castlevania mechanics with a trial and error system that is highly addicting.  You never play the same game twice and each play through makes you a bit stronger with each level up.    Since the main goal of the game is to unlock items and get gold, you are not bogged down by some complex stat system.  The quirks of each heir are funny and occasionally helpful, but I noticed that they served more to brighten the humor of the game.  I also learned that the average human being can have some pretty messed up problems (fear of chickens).

The only thing I would like to see changed in the sequel is that as you level up your stats with gold the prices are higher and higher.  If you do a crappy run through the castle and only net a little gold it feels like a waste of a play if you cannot afford anything for the next heir.  Maybe in the future the game should offer a mini store with low priced items so that you can at least get something for your efforts.

Rogue Legacy is charming as it is witty and the tight gameplay ensures that you will be saying, "just one more time." The game will cost you $15 dollars, which can seem kind of steep for a game that is only 400mb and has such simple play mechanics.  I would argue that if you love level up adventures and you need a game that is as funny as it is functional then Rogue Legacy is right up your alley.

Buy It 1/5

+ Tight controls and fun combat
+ No play through is the same twice
+ Hilarious and charming
- $15 might be too steep for a 400 MB game

Why Sony Struggles With Launch Games For the Playstation

Where's The Killer App?

If you think of the console wars like a huge horse race, Sony's horse is always the racer that starts off with a limp.  Eventually the system takes full speed and stays neck and neck with the competition.  This is the 6th console/handheld to be unleashed on the market and it comes as no surprise that there is no killer app in the lineup.  Historically, Sony has never had very strong starts since the PS2 arrived.  Look at the other starting lineups.

When the PS3 was released we were introduced to Genji, Untold Legends and Resistance: Fall of Man.  Resistance was the only game that had a future in the lot.  The other games sizzled out.  When the PSP was released Sony tried to entice its fans with Untold Legends, Wipeout Pure, Ape Escape and Lumines.  When the Playstation Move came out, Sony barely scraped by with Kungfu Rider, The Fight: Lights Out and Sports Champions.  The trend continues with PSVita's Uncharted: Golden Abyss, and Modnation Racers: Roadtrip getting forgotten.  Finally, with the PS4 welcoming gamers into the new age, we had Knack and Killzone: Shadowfall weighing in against Xbox One's Killer Instinct, Ryse: Son of Rome and Dead Rising 3.  Knack and Shadowfall got critically mediocre scores* leaving gamers to have to find solace in Octodad: Dadliest Catch (What?) and Contrast.

This should have dominated the launch markets.

The Playstation medium is a struggling artist, trying desperately to meld beauty with creativity.  Usually, if you are going to get a Playstation it is because you love Anime, want a game that feels like a movie or you want to control a beautiful flower through a luscious landscape.  Sony can hold its own despite not being the preferred system for frat college boys and competitive shooter leagues.  I always cringe a little when Playstation enters the foray and the games are either half baked, uninspired or rushed.  You can't fault the system, Sony has tried desperately to fight against the Halo and Mario tide with each new system and it feels like they can't win for losing.

If and when the PS5 comes knocking at our door (2020) will we expect to find the same lackluster trend?  Is it better for Sony to skip right to the JRPG and something from Quantic Dreams Studios?  No one can predict these things, but I have strong suspicion that the PS is haunted by what I like to call Crowd Winning Control.  That is the pressure for a system to release 1 or 2 games at launch that truly capture the audience and spirit of the system.  For the Xbox it is always a sci-fi FPS, a racing game or a Kinect game.  For Nintendo it is a Mario game, a Donkey Kong game or a Zelda game.  The Playstation, on the other hand has not really had a recognizable or solid Crowd Winner and that is where they struggle.

System's biggest strengths: Little Japanese boys with swords

And maybe that is why Sony eventually picks itself up by the boot straps and carves out its own niche in the market, it does not rely on a formula like the other guys.  While it may fail to dominate the crowds with a launch title, it gains momentum by throwing unpredictable wild pitches, surprising and lovable gems (like Little Big Planet).  So while Sony can't seem to entice with a killer app that can scratch the Halo/Fable/Mario itch it will emerge with something beautiful.  Playstation is the vintage wine of systems, it gets better with age. 

*

To be fair, the Wii U and Xbox One should be on this same chopping block for lackluster launch titles, but those systems can easily tide over gamers with a Mario game or a Halo.  Even when Sony leads with a sequel that has been known to sell well (Uncharted and Killzone) the games still do not make as big as a splash.   

Review: Justice League The Flashpoint Paradox

Just when you thought DC had closed the door on any event before 52, Warner Bros comes out with Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox.  Based on the last graphic novel before the events of 52 called Flashpoint, I have no idea why they gave this movie such a long name.  The Justice League is not even in it for that long.

Name aside, this feature length animated film is the best offering we have seen in a long while.  I believe the DC animation team might actually have a good thing going now that they are dropping quarterly movie projects.

The story stars Barry Allen, The Flash, as he wakes up to find his powers gone and his mother still alive.  Aware that reality has shifted, Barry discovers there is no Justice League and Wonder Woman and Aquaman are going to war against each other.  Probably the worst change is now Batman has a stubble and is not afraid to murder people.  Stuck in this new paradox, The Flash needs to find out how to bring his reality back and keep Aquaman and Wonder Woman from destroying the new reality.

The voice acting is the real charm of the project, as DC has invited Justin Chambers to play The Flash and Kevin McKidd to play Batman (other reality).  You will also recognize Kevin Conroy and Nathan Fillion in much smaller roles as Batman and Green Lantern.  Some voices you might not recognize, Cary Elwes as Aquaman and Thomas C. Howell as Professor Zoom.

An assortment of flashbacks, creative segways into Flashpoint history and focus on Barry Allen's relationship with Batman (other reality) keeps the story interesting and gripping.  It all gets wrapped up in an apocalyptic battle where everything runs into chaos.  The size of the story and what is at stake is what keeps it from going stale or too translucent.

On the other hand, the art style and direction takes some pretty bizarre twists and turns.  Aquaman and Superman have tree stumps for necks.  Batman's face looks like it is a project on minimalism and Wonder Woman looks like she walked out of an 80's anime.  Andy Kubert is the big illustrator on this project and it seems like I will never get used to his weird anatomical decisions.

Why the long face, everybody?

Fortunately, the horse faces and tree stump neck people do not take away from the story and its grip on the viewer.  This is one of the few times that Geoff Johns' writing vision has been displayed in its full potential.  I noticed that the stories are a lot more grittier and violent in this offering.  This uncensored (though still PG-13) presentation of the graphic novel actually works to the advantage of DC.  They operate better when they try to win over an older audience.  But it is not too gross and explicit that you walk away with a bad taste in your mouth.

All in all, I think this is a good exercise in representing DC's finer works and even improving on the graphic novels that did not do so well.

Rating: Buy It 3/5
+ Great story
+ Great voice acting
- Some disturbing human models

Clash of the Epic Battles: Trinity War vs. The Ultimates

DC is finally pulling out their epic event after having two straight years of smaller story arcs. This is right in conjunction with the Ultimates world ending Infinity Gauntlet story arc. Never has two world ending events been compared and contrasted.

The Stories:
Trinity War- The Justice League, JLA and Justice League Dark are searching for the Pandora's box. This tool is believed to have manipulated Superman into killing Doctor Light. After countless civil battles between groups, they finally discover that Earth 3 is behind this and the evil altar egos of the Justice League step into Earth 1.

Gauntlet War- The Ultimates are trying to track down the Infinity Gems when Krang, a mysterious alien visitor, teams up with the Hulk and Mr. Fantastic to steal them. They use the gems to manipulate the world into their own utopia. The Ultimates are defeated and Krang reveals herself as Sue Richards from the future.

Story Magnitude:
The Ultimates story arc focuses on the destruction of the team and the helplessness of the good guys on page one. The minute we see Hulk and Reed with the gauntlets we know the team is screwed. It becomes an epic struggle to see the team survive. Then the death of Tony Stark happens and see the writers throwing more calamity in the world ending scenario.

The JL story is more of a journey based narrative. First, all teams go to Kahndaq. Then they have to solve a mystery of why Superman killed Doctor Light. All the while, the team is getting into fisticuffs over problem management. The DC world does not get into deep trouble until Earth 3 opens up and spits out the evil Justice League. The 6 story arc becomes a buffet of heroes arguing and random clues thrown at you.

More World Threatening: The Ultimates

Character Usage:
The JL story proudly throws tons of combatants and heroes at you from page one. Geoff Johns was tasked with showing off DC's bounty of new and old faces. This ensures that very few people get more than 2 pages of development. We see Shazam get excited about punching Superman, Cat Woman seduce a magical house, The Question talk about questions and Wonder Woman strangle tons of guys in her ambitious quest. Mostly the bad guys get the real star treatment.

The Ultimates shine a spotlight on Reed, Hulk, Quicksilver and Krang. These characters are deliciously psychotic and destitute of humanity. At the same time they think they are the good guys. The story arc never really explains why The Ultimates need to save the world from them. The Ultimates take a back seat as the villains are the real seasoning on this story. Tony Stark gets the most panel time, which is pretty impressive because he is dead.

Best Characters: The Ultimates

Life Altering Events:
The Ultimates are screwed from page 3 of issue 1. They see the Hulk destroy their entire team and Reed Richards is a step ahead. Marvel exclusively uses the Ultimate stories to blow up stuff and kill off characters. Curious to see how Tony Stark will function as a sentient computer program.

Not much changes in the DC world. Doctor Light dies and we are reintroduced to the evil JL of Earth 3. The premise of this mega event was to put the Justice League against each other. It is a neat idea, but nothing really happens that is ground breaking.

Riskier Story: The Ultimates

Comic Review: Ultimates Disassembled! (Spoilers)

Artist: Giandomenico
Writer: Fialkov

There are two kinds of master mind evil plans. There are the bad guys that just want to heckle the good guy and cause a lot of damage. Then there are the bad guys that think they are saving the world, but are doing it through endless destruction and murder. Reed Richards and The Hulk are two such villains. Reed Richards is a psycho mastermind that thinks the destruction of the Ultimates and the collection of the Infinity Gems will save the Earth from some far off destruction. All this is orchestrated by Kang, a mysterious alien creature that is pulling the strings.


Overkill!

Fialkov proves that weird, dark and twisted makes a much better story. That is why Reed Richards is the kind of social path that you absolutely love to hate (even though he is stopping world hunger). Then you have his guard dog, The Hulk, who is an absolute threat. I love a good story where the forces of evil are unstoppable. Within the first few issues, Captain America is taken out of commission, Thor gets his head handed to him, Tony Stark is lobotomized and killed and Sue Storm is given enough psychological trauma from an abusive ex-husband to warrant years of counseling. The build up of these issues is making huge ripples in the Ultimate universe. This is the same universe that killed Green Goblin, made Cap President and made mutants an invention in Canada. Fialkov is adding to the misery of this dark world and it will take a miracle to resolve the evil powers of Reed Richard's takeover.



Just a little off the top.



Score: 8/10

Pencils: * *

Story: * *

Suspense: * *

Color: *

Characters: *


Final: A keeper of a story...

The Ultimates: Reconstruction 20-24

Perhaps the most underrated series of Marvel is The Ultimates universe.  This is the alternate universe that killed off the Hulk, made Reed Richards a bad guy and discovered that mutants were created in a lab in Canada.

With such great and twisty plot reveals like that one would be excited to dive into the Ultimates and peer at the Marvel Universe that no one really knows.

In the Reconstruction era, America has been devastated and only President Captain America can put the pieces back together to help the nation unite.  It was just discovered that Nick Fury is an undercover agent for Hydra and the governor of Florida is assembling a dooms day weapon.

Marvel has one rule for the Ultimates Universe and it has been followed quite strictly.  The universe has to appear adult, realistic and dark.  It is written like a Norman Rockwell painting.

I was excited to dive into my first Ultimates story arc and get sucked into the world of the "Other Marvel."  This is a world where men acted like men and teenage drama was replaced with super hero adults dealing with real world problems.

What I got instead was a pretty bread and butter story.  The struggle between Hawkeye and Fury was boring and did not lead to any excitement.  The unleashing of the evil Florida Governor led to some other hit and miss stories.  They introduced Power Man, Vision, Tigra, Black Knight and Quake into the universe, giving a potential spin off series with the West Coast Ultimates, but that side story got unresolved.  The Writer, Sam Humphries, felt like his story was missing something exciting and instead of adding a 5 headed demon, he kept it low tech.  Even the resolution of the world altering problem seemed corny and out of place--something even the Ghostbusters wouldn't stoop to.

The Penciling in issue #20 is by far the most budget art for any of the characters.  Captain America looked like he was laminated and his head was too lopsided for his mask.  The art gradually increased over the series and the inclusion of new villains made it interesting, but ultimately this universe had a dry run with uninspiration.

The whole thing tasted like oatmeal, with seldom brown sugar moments.

Luckily, Ultimates: Disassembled brings back Reed Richards as the main villain.

Upside: This universe's Tigra looks less like a prostitute

Android Game Central: The MOGA Controller

It was July 23rd when I got the package from Amazon.com. I got a refurbished package from a dealer. I was excited that my phone of potential could actually play Gameloft games like a portable console.

 The controller was a sleek plastic case with a hard rubber back. It was small and the hands would be getting cramped easily, but the mini design played to its portability. Two mini discs made up the thumb sticks and the face buttons made a plastic click when pressed. Two AAA batteries were inserted into the back of the set and the Bluetooth was turned on. The controller synced up immediately with the Galaxy S II. It looked like the controller was going to work out quite well. After 3 hours I had played NOVA 3, Modern Combat 4, Dead Trigger, Pac-Man and Dungeon Hunter 4 like a normal human being would play a PSP.

 I felt like I had accomplished something. The game library has over 60 games and growing. It is one of the easiest libraries to access with a controller without having to root the phone or do any special customizations. This all seemed to be going quite well.

 And then I tried again.
 I tried syncing with the Galaxy S II a second time within the next two days. The MOGA paired up with my phone immediately, but then lost the connection immediately. I tried pairing it multiple times and finally it stuck after a good five minutes. In the next week the MOGA was absolutely useless to Bluetooth scanners. It would not show up on the tablet, the Bluetooth had a horrible time syncing up and confirming a connection.
The most probable cause is the batteries dying. If 2 fresh AAA batteries promises 3 hours of gameplay than this controller has a major hassle. Even the 6 AA battery Game Gear had a longer lifespan. What was once a cheap and competent and alternative to a Sony PSP became the most difficult peripheral to manage.

 It is tools like this that make me believe the Android is not ready to be taken seriously as a game alternative.

Android Games That Don't Suck: Crazy Snowboard

Game: Crazy Snowboard
Publisher: Ezone

When a game is free on Android it means 1 of 2 things.  1) You can't win unless you shell out some major bucks or 2) It is just a spam bot waiting to destroy your system.  Sometimes, a game comes along that is neither of those things.  Crazy Snowboard is one of the few.

Crazy Snowboard is free, but you have to put up with some ads that pop up.  You can pay the 1.99 to get the ads off, but they were not that intrusive.

Then there is the next struggle with competent Android games. Since Crazy Snowboard is neither a tower defense game nor a card building RPG then it is assumed that it has bad physics and boring gameplay.  Crazy Snowboard manages to beat to those odds.

You have a career mode where you have different missions to accomplish like collecting coins, earning a certain amount of points or knocking over snow men.  But that is only half the objective.  You also need to score points and multipliers with tricks.  You score high enough and you gain stars (the official currency of casual gamers).  Stars help you get money which can buy new boards, boarders and moves.

It is fairly easy to pull off multiple combos and spins with a flick of the thumbs.  The game's move engine is setup similar to a console snowboard game.  But if you don't like touchscreens you can set up your MOGA controller to play the game.

Not bad for a free game.  If the filling landfills of uninspired tower defense/puzzle hybrids could take a cue from Ezone's game then it wouldn't be such a diamond in the rough search for quality.

15 Games That Need A Reboot

2013 is the Summer of game reboots.  We are seeing reboots of Duck Tales, Ninja Turtles and Killer Instinct.  These games give us hope that some of the more creative retro games will get their chance as well.  Here's 15 games that would make awesome reboots (but probably won't get it).

15.  Bloody Roar

Published: 1998
Publisher: Hudson
Reason:  This franchise lost most of its audience after the 4th sequel tanked hard.  It was an arcade fighter that lived off the mechanic that your fighter can transform into a vicious animal.  The idea behind the game is fundamentally sound, but it has been ruined by companies that could not compete with  Tekken or Virtua Fighter.


Re-envisioned:  This game could look beautiful in HD.  Maybe it would be better as a party fighter.


14. Maniac Mansion


Published: 1987
Publisher:  Lucasfilm
Reason: This game was genius in its heyday.  Being an adventure point-and-click with whacky blue alien humor and multiple endings, this game has a story that can charm even the pickiest gamer.

Re-Envisioned:  Add a few horror survival elements, keep the whacky story and make it a digital download.

13. Bart Vs. The  Space Mutants

Published: 1991
Publisher: Acclaim
Reason:  The Simpsons' first game was a bit obscure.  You played Bart Simpson who had to fight space mutants by getting rid of things colored red.  By all respects, it had nothing to do with the sitcom cartoon, but merely an action cash in for the younger boys who watched it (similar to every horrible game Family Guy releases).

Re-Envisioned: Today, the game would be considered hip and innovative.  Imagine an updated version of this game where you have to use modern puzzles to turn a town a different color.  It would be an indie masterpiece that belongs right next to the De Blob.

12. Desert Falcon

Published:1984
Publisher: Atari
Reason:  This was a flight shooter that put forth a good effort to be mission based.  Following in the tradition of Warhawk, Desert Falcon could have easily been the top war game of the Atari.

Re-Envisioned:  Add a stellar war story about desert warfare, update the missions and tack on a multiplayer component and you could have a flight arcade game that all the college kids are buying.

11.  Metal Storm

 Published: 1990
 Publisher: Irem
 Reason: Metal Storm still ranks as my favorite sci-fi Nintendo   game.  Why?  Because you are a huge war mech that uses gravity to solve puzzles and destroy your enemies.  Gravity manipulation is still a gameplay mechanic that many games are afraid to use.  Mechwarrior ain't got nothing on this.

Re-Envisioned:  Make it a 3rd person, over the shoulder combat game.  Add a post apocalyptic war zone with anime inspired weapons.  Keep the gravity puzzles and play mechanics to give the game a Half-Life appeal.

10. BlackThorne

Published: 1994
Publisher: Interplay

Reason: BlackThorne was the Patrick Swayze of video game bad dudes.  He carried around a shotgun in the coal mines of a mutant infested area and blew away anything that moved.  This game was also famous for having the first duck and cover system for battle.  BlackThorne would be a welcome member of The Gears of War band and probably kick the living junk out of Duke Nukem.

Re-Envisioned:  Either 2D or 3D, keep the shotgun toting hero of the mines in the game and you will have a great throwback. 

9. Beyond Oasis

Published: 1994
Publisher:  Sega
Reason:  Style and comic book graphics put this game into a class that I truly believe had Zelda beaten.  Your hero, Ali, could combo with sword attacks, collect different spirits to fight and the boss battles were huge.  Carrying huge potential in Sega's golden age there is no reason why this game should have ended after the Sega Saturn.

Re-Envisioned:  All it really needs is an HD spitshine, a new story and a whole slew of dungeons and the game could fit in with any action role-playing game today.

8. Eternal Champions

Published: 1993
Publisher: Sega

Reason:  It is Mortal Kombat with a lot more class and style.  The only problem was that the game was too hard and moves were almost impossible to master.  This game was breakthrough because it had a gritty noir/sci fi design in its levels.  It also had fatalities that would have made 90's Nintendo cry.

Re-Envisioned:  If Killer Instinct can be rebooted then there is definitely room for this game.  Just make the difficulty and moves way easier.

7. Killing Time

Published:1995
Publisher: 3D0

Reason:  It might seem like a huge Doom clone, but Killing Time had 2 things going for it.  1) It had FMV story telling that gave it real characters. 2) It had one huge adventure level like Half-Life.  If the 3D0 was not so obscure and expensive, this could have been the Bioshock Infinite of the 90's.

Re-Envisioned:  An open world adventure FPS that involves 1920's weapons, ghosts and killer horrors?  I think there is room in today's market for that.

6. Geist

Published:  2005
Publisher: Nintendo

Reason:  I miss the Gamecube.  This was back when Nintendo was trusted by 3rd party companies and other companies wanted to try out new franchises.  You did not have to go to Halo to get a good shooter and you did not have to go to Final Fantasy to get a good RPG.  Geist was Nintendo's personal sci-fi shooter.  It was your average point and shoot, but the kicker was that you had to inhabit the body of npc's in order to solve puzzles and beat bosses.  This game is the first shooter where puzzle solving was actually more fun than the shooting levels.  It wasn't a Halo killer, but it had potential to be its own trilogy.

Re-Envisioned:  This game could have been a success and today's better understanding of the FPS genre ensures that Nintendo would get it right.  Add some tight shooting mechanics, deeper warfare elements, keep the innovative puzzle layout and upgrade the multiplayer to today's standards.  It would at least be better than Blacklight: Tango Down.

5. Spider-Man: The Video Game:

Published: 1991
Publisher: Sega

Reason:  If you sat down some developers and gave them the mission of making the Spider-Man franchise character rich, graphically appealing and fun to play they would come out with this game.  You played as Black Cat, Namor, Hawk Eye or Spider-Man and performed beat'em up combos on thugs.  The second half of the game turned into a 2D shooter where your character had to jump from building to building shooting bad guys.  This game put the X-Men arcade game to shame.

Re-Envisioned:  Make it a 3D beat'em up with great voice acting from heroes.  Then add some of the most epic villains in the game.  Keep all the rest and you will have a way better game than Spider-Man: Friend or Foe.

4. Brutal: Paws of Fury

Published: 1994
Publisher: Gametek

Reason:  I still prefer to live in a world where this game got all the sequels that Street Fighter got.  You have some bad astronaut cartoon animals that have "don't mess with me" written all over their kung-fu.  Unfortunately, this game was made before developers understood how thumbs worked.  The moves were too hard to complete.  I don't see any scenario where making MMA type urban animals fight each other with Street Fighter moves is a bad idea.

Re-Envisioned:  Make an HD version of the game, tweak the gameplay for today's standards, add a few fighters, simplify the moves a ton and make it a $10 download for XBLA.  Sold!

3. The Immortal

Published: 1990
Publisher: Electronic Arts

Reason:  I was afraid of this game as a child because of the way the wizard cut open demon enemies.  Now I see this game as a Skyrim/Survival Horror hybrid.  You played an unnamed wizard who walks around a punishing dungeon, looking for goblins to chop open.

Re-Envisioned:  If you were to add a First Person view, add a dash of some skill building and customization, I could see the idea of playing a violent wizard in a dark dungeon as a highly playable game.

2. Power Move Pro Wrestling

Published:  1996
Publisher: Activision

Reason:  Before the WWE scared away all competition in wrestling games, there were some creative fiction wrestling games that were highly playable.  Power Move had horrible graphics, limited moves and your player never got up after they were knocked down...but the ambitious style and the faithfulness to pro wrestling lore made it a ton of fun to experience (as long as you were winning).  In 1996 most wrestling games were arcade beat'em ups, but Power Move was a full 3D adventure with real wrestling thematics.  It was too ahead of its time. 

Re-Envisioned:  If the game industry isn't petrified to make a non WWE wrestling game than I suggest making this game over from head to toe.  You could restart that rematch between Egyptian Conniption or Malibu Mike.

1.  Clayfighter

Published: 1993
Publisher: Interplay

Reason:  In 1993 there was a game made entirely out of clay (the cel-shading alternative).  It promised humor, killer moves, a talking snow man and a blob that could turn into a saw blade.  Even the intro to the game had a theme song.  There was never a game with so much humor and off-the-wall zaniness like Clayfighter.  Even though it was not well received on the N64, it definitely has value now that we have games that can handle humor and theatrics.

Re-Envisioned:  Keep it 2D, keep it funny and make it beautiful.  That is all you really need to do.